why being tanned used to be an ugly dark

When I was a kid I remember one day I was getting my makeup done and someone told me not to play outside in the sun. I was too dark. But hey, I was always too dark. I am still too dark. My grandma used to rub this yellow flour crap made of chickpeas because she thought it would make me lighter. No this wasn’t racist at all…And growing up just led to confusion and insecurity. I didn’t like my skin colour, I always wish I could have been lighter like most of my friends, being dark just wasn’t appealing to anyone in my family. So much has changed my friends, cough. 

When I went to India for the first time I saw so many people lighter and darker than I was. Maybe this is a good time to point out that growing up I really didn’t have brown friends and one black one, sorry diversity, I tried. Mind you I was like 5. This lady who lived near us (in India) always used to tell me how she will never be married because she was so dark, wtf was a 5 year old girl supposed to think about that? She is married now, but her marriage can be a blog post on its own.

But coming back, my ideas were the same. Growing up I loved the typical white popstars and destiny’s child, hit list what what and of course my friends were still the same. Lighter skinned girls to me looked better, could dress better because they could pull off any colour, I remember getting so excited wearing something bright pink because I remember seeing it on a white person. My life was sad at 8. LOL.

You know fast forward all these years later and it wasn’t really until  high school really I actually liked that I was a brown and realized how my strange orange-yellow-toned skin was actually something I could live with. Forget all that fair and lovely crap and Bollywood stars suddenly turning white yeah you can Google that, I am past this stage. I think this is called Shadeism. Whatever it is called, it exists and still this stigma of, you know what I am not even going to call it a stigma because I don’t get it.

Even today, going outside, I am constantly reminded not to get too dark. Or everyone around me doesn’t want to get too dark. Except my white friends who love to get their tan on. I love tans. I guess you can talk about this, in so many angles and in so many ways but if you feel like you hate the colour of your skin, I feel yeah, that was me. If you love it, I am jealous I didn’t figure it out a long time ago. And I am not writing all this so you can say sorry or feel sympathy I was like 6 and thought dinosaurs would come back and babies grew from a seed. Grade four shattered a lot of dreams.

So moral of the story kids, love your skin, its the only skin you have. Unless you tattoo yourself blue or something, you can love that as well. I wonder if anyone ever reads these blogs to the end?

Yo, I chose this photo because I went to the beach to tan and it was nice.



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